empty home

hay..i thought i would be able to go back to work last Monday..i miss working..i miss being busy but i'm beginning to love my life as a professional bum hehehe..i haven't been a bum for a long while..the last time was after i resigned from my previous work in Kumon..i didn't work for 2 months..it was different that time..now i'm not working because of my health conditions..i don't know what's happening. After i got married i got sick..then before my husband left i got sick again..it's been two weeks and i haven't felt so energetic..whenever i go somewhere i feel dizzy..when i do chores at home like cleaning, cooking and run errands like going to the laundromat or buy something i feel tired easily..but i don't have a choice.. i'm alone here so there is no one i can depend on to do such things for me..
i'm so tired
I've just gone to the laundromat downstairs..got a lot of dirty clothes..my husband's dirty clothes were still there and i could still smell the scent of his perfume and his signature scent...i missed my husband while sorting our clothes..but i can't do anything..i'm just giving myself a hard time if if i continue reminiscing and entertain the feeling of being alone and lonely..after going to the laundromat..i started cooking my lunch..but i forgot to buy onions..i went downstairs again to buy. i also brought with me our water container to have it refilled..i cooked my favorite pork dish..i'm gonna eat it again later for my dinner since there will be no one to eat my left over food and i don't wanna cook again..i had lunh at 3..it was so late..then i watched TV while waiting for my hubby's text msg saying that it was his break time already.. i didn't start washing the dishes until his break time was over..the good thing about being alone is washing only 1 plate, 1 glass, 1 fork and 1 spoon..i don't like a messy kitchen so i cleaned it again like what i always do after every meal..i noticed that our floor was so dirty so i had it cleaned. i'm so domesticated now..i patiently scubbed the floor to remove some stains..i'm not satisfied with the result..i stopped because i was so tired already..then i sprayed some insect repellant for the nasty cockroaches..when i first came here they were only babies..they are growing now.i'm not afraid of cockroaches but they are so disgusting..eewww..then i sprayed some sweet and gardeny smelling air freshener..i love my place..it's so small so it's easy to clean hehe..it's cleaner and more fragrant now...but it's still empty..i may have all the things i need to keep myself busy and entertained but it's still empty... nothing beats going home to a real home..
i miss the presence of my husband..i miss our laughter that fills the air, the loud volume of our TV when he watches WWE, sports channel and some old tagalog films(and i miss bugging him to change the channels), i miss the smell of the delicious food he patiently prepares for me, i even miss some of our petty arguements..While doing this, he's working his ass off for our future. i may have said some nasty things but i know that he's has grown so much..i know that he's doing his best to be a great husband..I miss him so much..i know he misses me as much as i do..and we can't wait to be together again..
i've just said that i don't want to entertain the feeling of being alone and sad but now i can feel it again..