....

I thought I can do it. I thought I'd be able to cope with the situation, but I was totally wrong. I'm so weak. I thought I was brave enough to face all these. I thought I already have the courage to face the reality. I thought I'd be forgiving enough. I thought I have moved on and forget what happened.

I was so ready to forget everything and move on to have a fresh start, but it seems like I can't forget all those things. Why? Because things haven't changed. I can still see the same faces. I can still feel the same anger. I can still notice the traces of the past. Things haven't changed, which in fact those should've changed as we made the biggest decision in our lives.

I don't have any interests right now. I've stopped doing my final paper because I can't think clearly. I don't have any interest in any tv shows. I don't like watching movies or just simply go out. I feel like I wanna dettach myself again from the mainstream.I need moments of solitude to finally move on. I can't just be like this. I still have a lot of things I need to care about. I need to stop thinking of the stupid things that had happened. Well it depends. It depends on how things will change...it change is still possible.

I can't just be like this. Life must go on. I'll miss a lot of beautiful things and wonderful oppurtunities if this continues.

At times, I don't wanna wake up because I know the changes I've been expecting are far beyond reality.